Forums » ENFP - Inspirer

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    • January 18, 2019 9:47:31 AM PST
    • Romantically, I seem to enjoy SJs. NFs simply exhaust me.

      My oldest son is an ISTP, and he is actually a pretty cool introvert. We get along really well.

    • December 1, 2018 5:16:26 PM PST
    • cool dress sense and photos!

    • November 12, 2018 11:45:38 PM PST
    • ENFJs, INFJs, ISFPs, and other INFPs tend to be the ones I'm drawn to the most. <3

    • November 1, 2018 3:20:36 PM PDT
    • While I haven't had too much dating experience, I will say that most of the people I am drawn too are either: INTPs, INFPs, INFJs, INTJs, and ENFPs.

    • September 10, 2018 8:34:01 PM PDT
    • INFJ is my favorite...Surprise, surprise. The compatibility and chemistry can be amazing.

    • September 17, 2018 12:57:29 PM PDT
    • Yes @Solo! When I use the term "web thinking", I mean the same thing that you do. I am not referencing the www in any way, but more like a spider's web where otherwise unconnected nodes touch each other and can quickly spin to another seemingly disconnected thread on the other side. I really like the term "multidimensional thinking."

    • September 17, 2018 8:50:49 AM PDT
    • @Dallas, I think you've got it right. I recognize that Ne/Si pattern in ENFP friends and also in myself.

      (Clarification: What @DallasENFP describes as “web thinking” is not dependent on the Internet. My term for it has been “geometric thinking” or "multidimensional thinking," but I think we both use it as a contrast to linear thinking. The downside for me is that I can't stick with a story plot. I am making too many other more interesting associations along the way. This can ruin a novel, but when we try to communicate with people who learn only from stories, it can make us seem, as @Cyanara said, “like a weirdo.”)

      ENFP's Fi is not specifically empathetic, so this may cause some others who need more Fe to regard them as self-centered. I particularly liked @Cyanara's observation that “I feel like I give her my full attention and I don't get the same back.” This is a legitimate objection that I have experienced myself. It's just a mismatch.

    • September 17, 2018 12:05:58 AM PDT
    • This is an old conversation, but I think that it may be because we are so verbose. We process our thoughts and feelings externally, so it seems like we are always talking. Often, we don't even know how we feel about a subject until we hear ourselves say it. Other types can't comprehend this. We also live in worlds of metaphor and analogy, and we are web thinkers. The web can lead us within less than a minute, from folding our towels- to remembering when we used that towel on a beach- to a documentary we saw about whales- to the use of humpback whale songs in Incubus' music- to pondering succubi- to wanting to go have sex. It's noisy in here, and we lose a lot of people along the way. But it is all so very interesting to us!! And we want to talk about it ALL! It actually is very deep, but it might seem ADD-like to linear thinkers who have difficulty keeping up with our fast pace, as we are still processing thoughts and feelings about these things every step of the way. That makes us seem self-centered and lacking depth. And that judgment hurts us deeply because we are among the two most empathic types.

    • September 17, 2018 9:11:00 AM PDT
    • @Dallas, thanks for mentioning good research design. Sorely lacking in these parts.

      I disagree with your characterization of the Inferior as unhealthy and unmasterable. I differentiate preference (or confidence) from skill, so I regard the Inferior as simply our least confident of the top four functions. We may have difficulty modulating it, so it manifests as all or nothing. Maturity and individuation smooth some of this out. I don't regard ENFP's Si as poison any more than INFP's Si. It's just part of your charm.

    • September 16, 2018 11:24:41 PM PDT
    • I totally get that! I always ask or do an early field test to weed out the SJ's. It just doesn't work for me in a romantic relationship-- for either side!! :-)

    • September 16, 2018 11:19:10 PM PDT
    • That's really interesting! I'm going on a 2nd date with a girl tomorrow who I've given up on typing her. She could be anything from an INFJ I've finally brought out her "silly side" to a fellow ENFP, or INFP. All I know is I dig her and am almost afraid of asking her MBTI because I don't want to treat her any differently.

    • September 16, 2018 11:13:52 PM PDT
    • ...

    • September 16, 2018 11:13:50 PM PDT
    • Hey Moby! Yes- I have found that I am usually not immediately romantically attracted to ENFP men and tend to friend-zone them, but I have also found that if I give them a chance, the rewards are boundless. Being so similar poses challenges--- we might be tempted to compete socially and we read each other's BS coming and going, but even that can be growth promoting. But conversations are endless, play is equally creative, we continually teach, learn, and grow, we share the same outlook on life even if it leads us to different conclusions, and we share a similar desire for deep connection and passion. We also share the same quality of not giving up easily on a partner we "imprint" upon, so the shared commitment carries us through difficult times.

    • September 16, 2018 11:04:29 PM PDT
    • Hey DallasENFP so you want to date another ENFP?

      I think it has potential. I went on two dates though with a female ENFP much like me in June and it was weird so we broke it off. But like I said, it has potential.

    • September 16, 2018 11:01:31 PM PDT
    • We tend to be very physically affectionate, well- with everyone we feel connected to. We hug our friends. We touch people's arms in encouragement or grasp their hands in contagious laughter. But if we are "into" you, it's different. We linger. We create grand gestures. And if they go unnoticed or unreciprocated, we can get our feelings hurt. This softens with age and maturity, but it is nontheless a type trend. As to feeling his hostility... the predictable meltdown point of the ENFP is introverted sensing. Every type has an inferior function that is unhealthy and can never be mastered. I-S is poison to us. We can't do it. If he perceives that gestures have been unnoticed or that he has been rejected through multiple attempts, he might just be in a protective mode.

      Anecdotally, (I haven't actually studied this with good research design) ENFP's love language tends to be a close need between touch and words, in both the way that we give and the way that we receive. Watch for an abundance of those from your ENFP. The negative about us in a relationship (or when we are very interested), is that we can come across as smothering and needy. We don't see ourselves that way. We just want to connect deeply and "fall into" the object of our affection and melt away like two sticks of butter. Most people love this attention and passion at first, but it seems that we sustain that desire and ability long after our partners have settled into wanting to just go about a normal routine. When it dries up, we often feel unfulfilled and possibly jilted, and as if our needs aren't met. We want soulmates and deep authentic connections. We can sustain it for years. That's why I want another ENFP in my life.

    • September 10, 2018 8:42:06 PM PDT
    • I am very flirtatious but if you're interested just ask. Worst case scenario you'll be given a nice let down. Alternative, myself, I'm a very confident ENFP and if you show me that you like me - give me any signs, bat your eyelashes, brush my arms or my legs, you'll get asked out on the spot.

    • July 29, 2018 4:21:57 AM PDT
    • Oh wow that's messed up if it's true. How did you figure that out?

    • July 27, 2018 6:37:24 PM PDT
    • I tried too...
      Plot twist, the admin controls this account and is advertising deceptively.

    • July 27, 2018 10:47:49 AM PDT
    • :/ I’ve reported it twice. Will do it again.

    • July 27, 2018 8:06:09 AM PDT
    • I doubt this is even a real person.

    • July 26, 2018 2:05:59 PM PDT
    • You've been a member on this site a few hours....
      #1 why are you talking about me like you know me?
      #2 Why are you defending this person when they are clearly violating this sites rules?
      #3 Who says I'm not calm?
      #4 If you don't like me or something I posted you're welcome to ignore it (instead of eating up my every word until nauseous)!!

    • July 26, 2018 11:41:10 AM PDT
    • There's no argument here I just don't want a bunch of spammers taking over this site with advertising. Frankly I'm not even sure what arguing you're talking about other than me defending my postulate (which was the whole point of me posting it).

    • July 26, 2018 9:51:57 AM PDT
    • calm down..why do you have to argue to a fault in your every post ? I'm feeling nauseous reading you

    • July 26, 2018 4:40:44 AM PDT
    • Can everybody please start reporting this idiot so their account gets banned? I don't think we want to start seeing a bunch of spammers on here trying to sell shit. :-/

    • July 26, 2018 12:23:57 AM PDT
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