Forums » INFJ - Counselor

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    • October 12, 2018 12:24:11 AM PDT
    • I see

    • September 6, 2018 10:46:35 AM PDT
    • As if to illustrate the paradoxical nature of an INFJ, I simultaneously embrace and curse my type. Never am I more infatuated with my functions than when I'm alone and able to revel in them completely and without interruption, embarrassment, or judgement (I judge myself enough for the entire population of earth, thank you). Inject me into the outside world where I'm habitually unable to share my wholeness to the positive reception of anyone and I immediately become disdainful of my makeup. I can play the game and be fun, likable, humorous, consoling, and counseling but the entirety of my external existence is hollow and meaningless and without true, authentic passion. To maintain the facade is to be generally accepted and secure relationships - shallow though they may be - but to be true to myself is to risk widespread rejection and criticism and invite ostracizing. I've conditioned myself to believe that loneliness by choice is far better than the same by force.

    • July 31, 2018 10:21:24 AM PDT
    • The guys who have said they feel like a "Stranger in a Strange Land" I think have it right. A true INFJ male isn't comfortable in this world. It's like being a '3D' person in a land of '2D' people - cardboard cut-out without real substance. Dating is a problem, because no 'normal' woman is capable of seeing the real 'you', and forming a close emotional bond difficult or impossible. Most disregard you as 'odd', and attraction is never mutual. You are a great 'friend' but never, never seen as a potential lover. Since you have to have attraction and a close emotional bond for sex that becomes a barrier that's almost impossible to overcome. Despite that I've been married twice and in both cases it turned out they were more interested in what I could give them and not in me as a person at all. Though they voiced all that at the start of the relationships, the truth came out later. Stop being able to be the 'gravy train' and suddenly you find yourself alone. Or worse (one wife tried to kill me for the insurance). So it's no laugh, and I think those that pretend to be an INFJ male are idiots. True INFJ males are lonely not as much by choice but because they want a depth few women can or are able to provide.

    • August 1, 2018 8:06:15 PM PDT
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    • July 6, 2018 12:48:38 PM PDT
    • You are so right...a warm hug from a nice INFJ liking ENTP based in Frankfurt
      A bientôt,
      Christoph (malheureusement sans 'e' a la fin :-)

    • June 20, 2018 4:15:31 PM PDT
    • You have GOT to meet an ENTP!! It's amazing and intoxicating! I've only recently become very interested in MBTI, and it's changed my life--everything makes sense now lol
      In my life I've had some incredibly close friendships--around seven best friends--and five of those best friends were INFJs (don't you guys make up like 1% of the population?!). Somehow we just attract each other!

      I really don't know how to explain a relationship with you guys. You just understand and you care and you listen and for some inexplicable reason you find us hilarious! We can talk intellectually or tease each other endlessly. I had an INFJ friend tell me once, "I feel like I could never get tired of you. It's always exciting even when its not." And, it's totally true! We could talk for hours and hours every day or even just not talk and not get bored of each other.
      HOWEVER, by the same token, since we can fall so deeply in love with you guys and we invest so much emotionally in each other, breakups can be really really painful (even friendship breakups lol). So its a risk you have to decide whether or not you want to take

      What do you mean by "morally consistent"? Though ENTPs can be pretty confrontational, we do care/consider others' emotions (if those emotions make sense logically); when we debate others its not to hurt others, it's to understand, to come to a solution, or to exercise our minds. It's fun to be the devil's advocate. We'll many times debate from the other side just because it's fun/an adventure not because we actually really believe it or agree with that side. Personally, I have very strong morals and values, and I have a good ENTP girlfriend who also has very firm beliefs about religion. However, we'll often debate about it, wanting to understand truth or just for the heck of it, it's not personal or determinative of moral fluctuation/abandonment, it's just fun. I thought INFJs liked philosophizing.

      Personally, I believe relationships between ENFP and INFJ are good but I think ENFP-INTJ is better. And ENTP-INFJ relationships are better than ENTP-INTJ relationships. I have two sisters, one is an ENFP and one is an INTJ. I feel that the ENFP sister gets along better with my INTJ sister than I do as an ENTP. Also, I've had many more INFJ friends than my ENFP sister and my friendships with INFJs have been very long-term whereas I feel that the friendships I've seen between ENFP and INFJ were more casual/less-committal. Idk. its just my opinion.

    • June 22, 2018 4:29:59 PM PDT
    • It looks dead-ish.. ;)

    • June 22, 2018 11:23:35 AM PDT
    • Hello! Is this thread still alive? I signed up for this random site out of curiousity and desire to connect with new people. I have recently been through a breakup, too, and I guess I am just checking to see if there are more weirdos like me out there. =P I would love to chat one on one, so feel free to message me!

    • May 30, 2018 9:19:58 PM PDT
    • Hello All, INFJ-T here in Houston, TX.

    • May 25, 2018 6:13:40 AM PDT
    • Infj here from Ft Worth Tx. Anyone near the area??

    • May 10, 2018 3:30:29 PM PDT
    • South Florida.

    • May 9, 2018 10:55:07 PM PDT
    • Hellooo

    • May 3, 2018 10:25:21 PM PDT
    • S/O to My INFJs!

      Ok, now I need quiet time while I feel sbout that.

    • May 3, 2018 9:40:16 PM PDT
    • Hello Everyone, New member here. Have been feeling different for quite a while.. took the MBTI test to realise only 2% of the population is like me.

      Would be great to know you all.

    • April 23, 2018 8:32:51 PM PDT
    • Rochester, NY ✌

    • April 23, 2018 8:09:36 PM PDT
    • Hello! Where’s everyone from?

      I’m in NYC...

    • April 20, 2018 2:38:04 PM PDT
    • Hi - INFJ here (:

      New to the website. Great idea, it’s growing, popularity will come with time.

    • April 18, 2018 3:30:17 AM PDT
    • New member here!

      I did notice it seems slower here, but that's fine for me. Quality over quantity! And it seems have a more sophisticated insight into ourselves and who are looking for. I kinda embrace it. :)

      Yes, I do notice a lot of INFJs here too. It's pretty cool, actually.

    • March 23, 2018 4:54:01 PM PDT
    • I met someone on this site this past July. We dated for about 6 months before the 2,000+ mile distance put a pretty big strain on things as we only saw each other every 1-2 months at a time. She's also an INFJ...and I can now say two INFJ-Ts together have some extreme highs met with equally extreme lows. I miss the highs, but those lows...I kind of miss.

      Addicted to pain I guess.

    • June 6, 2018 9:49:45 PM PDT
    • I have worked in the accounting field, desktop publishing, customer service, and now I work in Municipal Government. I think I'm happiest in my current field, I still get to do some accounting, I get to flex my creative muscles with working on the City newsletter, website, and flyers, I get to help people and make my community better which always makes me happy, I have a pretty good balance of time alone in my office crunching numbers or researching and time up front interacting with the public, all in all it's a pretty great fit for me. My dream job would be to be a writer, but I need more personal discipline before I can do that for income.

    • May 24, 2018 8:50:17 PM PDT
    • I have been a hairstylist for 13 years. I haven’t ever done anything else. Personally I’ve always wanted to be some sort of a counselor or to do something that helps people. I love my job because i can be creative, but also help out someone. I’m cheaper than a therapist. Lol!

    • May 23, 2018 2:49:02 AM PDT
    • I think we INFJs struggle a lot with this question, about what career to choose- we tend to be perfectionistic, and want to find the "right" career that will lead us to fulfill our ultimate potential. Though, I'm not sure that my experience was like other's; I was a pretty weird kid: I was pretty good at math/science and the writing/humanities/social sciences. That probably had something to do with my indecisiveness on a career path. It has taken me a long time to figure out that my first passion was always the one I'd end up picking. Since I was in kindergarten and elementary school, I was always happy to help others learn (according to my parents) and was pretty good at it, even though I could be a bit sassy lol I once told my teacher, who asked me to help another student with their homework "Why are you making me do your job?" LOL! I would go through lots of passions until I got to grad school, including marine biology, architecture/design, math, writing, counseling, paleontology, botany, environmental sciences, history, social justice issues, business, economics, politics, policy, and international relations. Then, once I actually got to teach students in college I realized I wanted to do this indefinitely. Lucky for me, I landed a teaching job and currently teach in higher education. I honestly really love my job. It's stressful for sure, and I act as a mentor and counselor on top of being a teacher, since students deal with many issues besides their coursework, but I know it's what I've always wanted to do. If I were to give some advice for other INFJs it's to continue exploring your options. Don't be afraid to take your time to find an area that makes you feel fulfilled and that meets your needs. I know it's hard to accept because we don't like ambiguity, for things to be out of our control or to not know what awaits us (I still hate feeling that way), but we'll find our way through the fog. We're pretty good at that.

    • May 21, 2018 2:10:44 AM PDT
    • Meditate and you will find the best fruits!

    • May 19, 2018 7:23:36 PM PDT
    • Wow Leperkin, you dove right into my mind with your way of thinking. Thanks for that!