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  • Topic: Giving off an untouchable vibe

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    • June 8, 2016 8:59:37 PM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I definitely feel like I give off an "untouchable" vibe. Part of it may be that I've just generally had difficulty socializing, I think because I've been around lots of people who don't know how to interact with Is. I've gotten better at using my F and N to navigate social situations and I found it much easier to make close friends in college and graduate school than I did in high school. However, I often end up in situations where someone I consider a close friend will completely cut contact with me, leaving me distressed and wondering what I did wrong (and of course, nobody is able to offer an explanation), so it's difficult for me to assess my progress in getting rid of this particular vibe.

    • January 19, 2017 11:06:05 PM PST
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I'd say I'm in the same boat...

      I've been told I "push others away", "seem uninterested", whatever. I'd definitely say I've got an "untouchable" vibe. I've never had a proper boyfriend, either, or gone on "dates". At my age! I've never really had a social sphere so it isn't as though I've had very many places to start either.

      I'm not sure whether that's anything to do with this particular stacking, really... I always blamed it on my personal maladaption. Maybe my stacking helps. But I'd hate to think all sx/sp's are just fated to go through life alone (and likely tormented about it).

      One of my good friends is a sx/sp ENFP...and she's basically everyone's friend. She just, tends to fixate on one interest after the next to the neglect of everything else. But she's also outgoing. There's probably something else going on.

      So I don't have the answer. I don't know what the "right" way to combat this problem is. I do find that I'm very attuned to the fabled "chemistry" of sx-first--I end up making a better showing with some people more than others. I guess it's only a matter of finding the right person and hitting it off. Not helpful, I know.

    • January 27, 2017 12:24:25 PM PST
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I tend to run hot and cold socially, engaged or withdrawn. I'm better than I used to be as I've gotten to know myself over the years, i.e., I tend to know when a situation is not going to work for me. Only thing is sometimes I talk myself out of EVERYthing and isolate more than is healthy.

      I also think INTPs are particularly vulnerable to the mistake of unfairly comparing our insides with other people's outsides. Ego tells me I know what other people are thinking and surely it's something negative, or, that surely they will be disappointed when they discover I am the shithead I'm afraid I am, so I might as well go ahead and be it. Anyhoo, by the time I'm done thrashing about inside with all these and various other ruminations, well God only knows what kind of expression is on my face. Am I unapproachable? Probably. You probably don't want to fuck with me.

      This post was edited by Clifton at January 27, 2017 12:26:29 PM PST
    • March 29, 2017 9:43:24 AM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      Hi, loobird,

      I'm the opposite most of the time. I'm told that I give off a "come hither" vibe to most men (which can be troublesome at times!). But like you, when I'm deep in thought or speaking passionately on something I can also become "intimidating (which I think might be the "untouchable side). We are none of us all one or the other. Maybe you just haven't met the person you want to invite into the Inner Sanctum yet? That's valid.

      Meanwhile, keep working on your own development. We're all on a journey. Keep expanding yourself and getting to know people. When you're really attracted to someone on that deep, authentic level, the "come hither" switch will flip, I'm confident!

      JustLisa

    • April 18, 2017 10:12:08 AM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I scare people way. Too forward and direct or i have a player vibe. I don't really know

    • May 22, 2017 8:30:48 AM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I don't really know what's wrong with me... I mean, I have had boyfriends... for myself I'm already saying to much boyriends, but for some reason the longest relationship I've been in was 6 months. But my best friend told me a few months ago, that I do seem a bit uninterested from time to time... And I'm interested, I'm just 'living in my own world' or my focus/concentration is on something else.

      But on the other hand, I think I'm to clingly, and start to change in a relationship? Because my ex was afraid I was totally changing because of him and not myself anymore, when I was pretty sure I was still myself, just the part I don't easily show around. But well, if I'm not clingly, than it's also not okay.
      Seriously, people make it way to hard.

      The problem is, I think, is that I'm mostly falling in love with guys who aren't ready for relationships? Or if I have guys who are ready for a relationship, they are not the right guys for me? But how do you change that one?

      And oh, that LoA, that is totally driving me crazy lately. I'm doing everything that's written down for the rules, and it doesn't seem to work at all!

    • June 1, 2017 12:48:22 PM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      Countless times friends have told me that they thought I hated them upon meeting me, or they thought I was stuck up, or they were intimidated by me...until they got to know me and found out I'm a warm, caring person who strongly values kindness. I believe there are a few reasons this is happening.

      1. Resting Bitch Face. I have one to the max.

      2. I don't go out of my way to impress people upon meeting them. I'm not overly friendly unless something really peaks my interest. A simple hello and handshake should suffice.

      3. I have a small circle of people with whom I feel comfortable sharing my deepest, truest self, so I probably seem reserved to most people unless I'm drinking. At parties I can turn into a pseudo ENFP, but I burn out fast.

      4. I spend a lot of my time in my head. Extraverts seem to notice and the kind ones are good at inspiring my to come out of my shell. However, people who demand that I be more expressive annoy the shit out of me. I'm not quiet because of shyness or intimidation. I'm quiet because my thoughts are more interesting to me than the current situation. So in that way I am a bit stuck up and self absorbed, but my self awareness becomes a great benefit to others in need of validation. When someone is suffering, I forget about myself and give give give. People remember that.

      This post was edited by LizzyDW at June 1, 2017 12:48:59 PM PDT
    • August 16, 2017 8:44:46 PM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I can relate to that.

    • June 21, 2019 2:21:34 PM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      Awesome to come back here after so many years and go through responses.
      I can now say that I am a lot more consciously, intentionally open and have even reached an awareness of myself as truly polyamorous in nature. Since feeling comfortable in this self-knowledge, I've been approached and loved on by some amazing men! And I'm even opening up to the idea of women as potential love interests as well. Much to still be revealed on this amazing journey of love, discovery, authenticity, and relating.

    • July 6, 2019 11:19:18 PM PDT
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      Giving off an untouchable vibe

      I try very hard to not bother people. The result is people think I'm trying very hard to avoid them.

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