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  • Topic: INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

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    • June 27, 2013 9:18:43 PM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      As an INFJ...I found it very difficult to find a good match in the lesbian community. And I don't switch teams so in case anyone on here wants to suggest it...lol...that isn't an option. Apparently my mbti is around 1-2 percent of the population...which I believe because aside from some family and close friends it seems I haven't met a lot of people in life who "get" me...or maybe the issue is "believe" me when I allow myself to be "seen?" The ironic thing is that I am pretty transparent and I love learning about and understanding others. Anyway...please check out my profile..I am a full time carpenter and very confident in what I can bring to a relationship:)

      Let me know if you have suggestions. i may even be open minded to match making if you know a particularly awesome, stable, lesbian (25ish to 38 or so) with a dominant intuitive personality type. I think I also lean towards Thinking Judgers...but I am open minded:) am not from St. Louis and intend to relocate to a more "progressive" city within the next year...I'm leaning towards the east coast because I have more friends there, but Madison WI and Cali have crossed my mind...particularly considering the latest Supreme Court Ruling.

      Thanks for reading!

    • March 2, 2014 3:15:49 PM PST
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      Hello ThinkHappy365!

      Welcome to the Evolove Project, particularly here in the INFJ Forum.
      Thanks for sharing your testimony of your experience with relationships, in your
      specific pursuit of happiness!
      I'd like to further your topic of conversation, as I have come across the question
      of gender/sexual orientation's affect on type interaction quite a few times before.
      My personal opinion is based on my own experience, so I will emphasize on the
      fact that it is not a general truth that I will speak of.

      As an INFJ, with sexual and social primary instincts, I tend to appear as very assertive, dominant in my way of perceiving the world (the introverted intuition "shines" through my Se), yet I treat all the information through the lens of my internal logic, based on my feelings (Fe-Ti process). This way of being creates very defined dynamics in terms of energy in interactions.
      I tend to attract females, even straight ones, on a regular basis because, I give off this dominant "alpha" type of intuition that is probably them mistaking me for an INTJ "Hawkeye" - which happens very regularly- and expecting me to be very rational, logical and less empathic, emotionally-driven.

      My best female friend, that I have typed ISTP, is a lesbian as well, and she "came out" for the first time to me, by expressing her love for me.
      I believe that the regular Intuition/Sensing bridge gap can be overlooked when there is an orientation of sexual drive that is targeted to different cognitively-functional sex-appeals.

      As an exemple, I can testify that being brought up in an S(i)-Dom household, by an ISFJ mother, where all others had inferior intuition, I have had to highly develop my extraverted Sensing in order to gather information, knowledge and that has caused me to be very assertive, sexually-driven in terms of achieving sensory perception, especially towards my mother, which was the only parent present regularly in the household.

      In that sense, I can say I am particularly comfortable to express my sexual drive to other e, and to direct it to them, and some women are drawn to this aspect of me.
      However, I believe that my "lesbian-side" of my personality - the sexual drive - is only and purely material in the sense that it is accomplished in order to gather, process information, and not ideal in terms of my expectations of accession to pleasurable love.

      Also, this process is not exclusive to the female gender, and it happens more often than not, when I interact with NTPs, that I use it in order to work out their extraverted intuition, since their sensing is inferior, and they need to be somewhat "stimulated" to captivate their intellectual expression.

      In that sense, I find that it feels more like working out my senses, than pleasurably sensing them naturally, which I find to happen only with NF's and Se-Doms (mostly because the intellectual stimulation I require needs no external sensory drive to be perceived).

      I wonder if you could corroborate, or argue against this specific idea of understanding of function dominance, and sexual-drive as variables of a sexual orientation compabtibility with the social aspects of their expression.
      Anyone can feel free to answer, and continue the conversation!
      Thank you for reading :)

    • July 16, 2014 8:24:01 PM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      Queer Infj here.

    • July 28, 2014 11:32:57 AM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      INFJs go really well with ENTPs. However, I think there are fewer female ENTPs. They also get along with INTPs, INTJs, ISTJs, and ENFJs. INTPs are most interested in the sciences, INTJs are also nerdy, ISTJs have a ton of interests and know a lot of stuff, and ENFJs are the most likely to be a leader.

      Avoid ISFPs. It seems great initially but is a car crash waiting to happen.

      I'm currently with an ISTP. An ISTP female, IMHO, is the most likely to have tattoo sleeves.

    • July 2, 2015 2:02:36 PM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      I think INTP girls are great for INFJs. They tend to be fairly assertive yet also know how to act around different people because of their intuition. They're great at in depth discussion but are also the more casual, night-in kind of people.

    • August 2, 2015 7:55:48 AM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      Queer ENTP here ;)

    • October 11, 2015 10:25:14 AM PDT
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      INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

      lesbian INFJ . .:))


      IVE read. /heard that the best matches for INFJ s .. are : ENFPS. .(never met one been talking to one for a couple weeks . suppsed to meet soon) also . . other INFJs. .we understand each other. also . . . INFPs. . . I dated one years ago . . we click. !

    • November 14, 2017 11:08:39 PM PST
    • INFJ Lesbian- Difficulty finding a good match. Suggestions?

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