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  • Topic: Harder to be INTJ girl?

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    • October 22, 2014 11:14:27 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      Yeah. We're screwed. I have been through dating hell as an INTJ female...

    • October 22, 2014 11:17:34 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      And I live in one of the most crowded areas of the USA (NJ/NYC area). Should be loaded here with ENTJs, right? Well, I have yet to find an available one to ask me for a date... I think that is the only type left who might feel comfortable with me. So tired of the inadequacy games, the players, etc...

    • December 9, 2014 9:38:25 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I'm an INTJ girl as well. I think the main problem isn't the personality of the INTJ's girl itself, but what society automatically expects a girl to do. It isn't even about buying make-up, cute dresses and being sensitive and emotional. It's something that goes deeper. Actually, I think society automatically relates rationality, competitivy, logic and being a firm person with masculinity and being emotional, sensitive and dreamy with women. So, actually, according to these ridiculous stereotypes, most men are ENTJs, and most women ISFPs! And who is different may be labelled as gay (too sensitive men) or apathic and somewhat evil (too rational women).

      This post was edited by IndigoRaito at March 6, 2017 7:09:36 PM PST
    • December 18, 2014 8:19:51 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I would say yes, but not to the point it's worth mentioning.

    • December 26, 2014 11:24:42 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I've only ever been an INTJ female, but from my experience I'd say yeah I'd say it's been pretty damn hard. Considering we are the smallest in numbers of all types (we make up .8% of the population), we're not well known as the tiniest minority. I've definitely felt like I've stuck out or been unable to fit in nearly every social situation I've been involved in. It's been hard finding friends and boyfriends. People seem to have a harder time accepting a person like me.

    • December 30, 2014 8:32:57 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I'm an intj female and have had nothing but failures in the relationship realm. This includes friendship. I'm not super feminine and have a hard time validating behavior that screams "I'm a girl!"
      I don't know what it is but I'm never approached by men. But to be honest, inn not sure I would even recognize when someone is interested in me.
      I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one with hardships in these areas.

      I agree with most who say INTJ women are not unfeeling. Often times I find that I interpret my emotions into hard facts. It's easier. This has been troublesome in romantic relationships in the past. I just find erotica to be messy and not entirely necessary most of the time. Sometimes it's probably a good thing. I wonder if this sort of sentiment is a turn off for most men?

    • December 30, 2014 8:34:51 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      *I'm
      *emotions

      Auto correct is bent on making me appear incompetent.

    • January 14, 2015 12:00:40 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      Personally I really like the few INTJ females I've met... I've only had one problem with them: Commitment and communication (I tie those two together). I'm hypothesizing that the biggest struggle for INTJ's in general is to adapt to others socially. That sounds like the general problem. I have a simple word of advice: Open up to a friendly ENTP or ENFP and they will drag you around and you'll be more social than you ever thought possible :)
      P.S. typical gender roles or society's view of "masculinity" and "femininity" don't apply with most ENFPs haha

      This post was edited by MichaelMcquaid at January 14, 2015 12:01:52 AM PST
    • February 2, 2015 7:00:03 PM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I have met 2 INTJ women, facinated by both... when drawn into a conversation, there is no intimidation either way. Generally I find I have to "talk down" my thoughts to most, sort them out and make them simpler per se'.. but not so with the INTJ women I have talked to... We will probably also find, in reference to one post here, that most INTJ's, male or female, will be sapiophiles, and hence why most are mostly driven sexually. INTJ's seek out intellect, and respect those that demonstrate the same. To Me, it only makes sense. :)

    • April 14, 2015 8:00:54 AM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I am an INTJ man & woud love to have 1 go with an INTJ woman/girl. But how to find 1 ? there dont seem to be any on this site in my area. then again they are so rare to start with.
      So can I get any clues for finding 1?
      What is ur experience of being with a INTJ man ?

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    • April 16, 2015 7:01:42 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I think you should perhaps get an INTP just to have that balance. We are definitely harder to find. But if you meet any women working in the harder sciences or speaks more in the tone of a news reporter versus the "Like OMG!" higher pitched tone and faster, tone, she is very likely to be an INTJ personality type. Or at least a more "thoughtful" woman.

      And again, these women are very feminine, they just lead with their heads, and aren't going to pretend to be airheads just to get your attention or interest.

    • April 29, 2015 3:23:29 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I suspect it is harder as an INTJ woman. Being such a small percentage of the population and not caring about social situations we think are BS, or having strong innate skills to make it seem we do, makes it hard.

      Can see how it could be harder for one our natural pairs, like an ENFP, if the INTJ is a woman.

      I work hard to overcome my natural quite nature with my ENFP girlfriend. I've learned enough over the years to get out of my comfort zone and tell her my feelings as often as she tells me hers (which is very often) because how I feel is true and she likes (needs?) to hear that.

      Yet if you are a younger and beautiful woman INTJ, can easily see how the level an ENFP may need for you to express your "love" for them to not consider you "cold" would be uncomfortable especially in the beginning when you haven't reached that level of trust or deepness of feeling.

    • April 30, 2015 5:35:46 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I come from from Alaska. Even as an ENFP I would appear very 'masculine' to most of societies standards and I own it. I think that's what it's about. If you intimidate them, why would they be worthy to jump in.

      Plus, since when have men idolized the 'female'. If you look like a 'girl' and are forward thinking and independent like a 'man'. When I quit thinking about it guys are all over it.

    • May 11, 2015 2:33:45 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      Being an INTJ girl has both its costs and benefits. On the plus side, I tend to draw in acquaintances that are intelligent, mature people who help to expand my perspective over all. This is important to me since I factor in other's opinions and advice when I make major decisions. The more diverse the opinions, the better the perspective. Think of it as finding a mean; the greater number the inputs - the more accurate the outcome. I do find that I attract people with opposite personalities. This often exposes me to ideas I would have not thought of on my own.

      On the other hand, being an INTJ female has some downsides. While I am very feminine in the way I dress or how I do my hair and makeup, I agree that my tendencies are very masculine. My first response is to push my emotions to the side when I am making a decision. I do not deem them a weakness, but I experience my emotions in such depth that pushing them aside is my attempt to retain objectivity. This makes it really easy to get along with guys, but I often find myself labeled as cold or indifferent by other girls.

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    • May 12, 2015 12:09:11 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      " I agree that my tendencies are very masculine. My first response is to push my emotions to the side when I am making a decision. "
      I wouldn't call this masculine or feminine but right thinking being an INTJ :)

      It may be my personality or just me, but have never bought into "masculine" and "feminine" stereotypes about personality or even really appearance. I suspect this is a big thing with certain N types, we don't judge based on what society says just because society says it.

    • May 12, 2015 11:48:22 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      It's really funny, when I used to date I would make guys take the test. It seems that many INTJ's find it necessary to efficiently know right away whether someone is compatible.

    • May 26, 2015 10:04:13 AM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      That is so funny! I have never asked someone to take "the test" but I certainly am trying to figure out in my mind what my date's "Myer's Briggs" might be. And now the whole secure/sexual thing too.

      This post was edited by badgirliam at May 26, 2015 10:05:47 AM PDT
    • May 28, 2015 8:58:45 AM PDT
    • Harder to be INTJ girl?

      It's quite hard. I find it difficult to date other NTJs because I don't want to do the typical debates on politics, technology or philosophy. My interests lie in fashion, art, etc., but the people who share similar interests find me unapproachable due to my personality.

    • June 24, 2015 10:17:29 AM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      proverbs3111 wrote:
      “I just find emotions to be messy and not entirely necessary most of the time. Sometimes it's probably a good thing. I wonder if this sort of sentiment is a turn off for most men?”

      I think a polarizing effect would be in fact really great. If I were you, I'd wish that it would be a turn off for the most men.

      All you needed to do would be to learn how the men react to that, you being yourself. If that's what you're getting as a general reaction, then the rest of the men who don't react that way actually like you.

      That way you would know where your time would be wasted on and where not.

      This post was edited by solarflare at August 10, 2015 11:34:35 AM PDT
    • July 19, 2015 6:17:27 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I have only known 2 INTJ women, but they both fascinated me from the start. There is something about that calculating expression they get with the tiniest raise of an eyebrow or slight upturn in the corner of their mouth, and that little glint in their eye... Definitely sucks me in and makes me hell bent on finding out what makes them tick. Plus I love the fact that they usually have insightful and interesting things to say. Well thought out things. They engage and enjoy discussions and can handle ideas and opinions opposite to their own without getting all offended and huffy.

      Yeah, INTJ women all the way.

    • July 26, 2015 1:04:22 PM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      Absolutely! I think like a guy which I guess can be very intimidating. Some guys find it "refreshing". I have NO PMS or mood swings. I love to laugh and find the funny things in life.

    • August 10, 2015 11:33:02 AM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      I agree, it is a challenge because men are intimidated, but it can be fun with the right person, which I have yet to find lol! I have found ENTP personalities are fun to engage with as they are witty and deal well with logical discussions. The man who can handle us is the man that is not subdued by societal norms, it is he who is his own person despite the constant waves of this world! Keep shining INTJ gals! We've got the power, will, and ability to accomplish great things. Follow your passion with a man to compliment your beautiful characteristics, not one who wants to be a shadow upon them. :)

    • August 10, 2015 11:38:07 AM PDT
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      awkwardturtle said:
      It's really funny, when I used to date I would make guys take the test. It seems that many INTJ's find it necessary to efficiently know right away whether someone is compatible.

      LOL! I do the same thing.

    • November 14, 2015 5:02:11 AM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      To me the question seems a bit stupid. Every MBTI personality has its own struggles. Let's not compete which type it's the hardest to be. We do constitute just a small portion of the population and our natural behaviour and way of thinking may not be 'average' but we can offer a lot to society. It's true that conventionally women were supposed to be more sensitive and touchy-feely.. BUT it's the 21st century! Whi cares about conventional stuff. Plus, as we are so different from the average female population, there's a high demand for us lol - in all kind of relationships (professional, platonic, romance). We just have to find people that appreciate us which often means that we have to get rid of our 'social mask'. However, that makes us vulnerable, and that is indeed hard for us..

    • February 9, 2016 8:34:24 PM PST
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      Harder to be INTJ girl?

      No, it's too easy as I don't care a lot about people.

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