Harder to be INTJ girl?
I'm an INTJ, and an exceptionally strong scoring one. There were no iffy grounds on my MBTI testing scores.
First, defining "hard" without context is a bit challenging. However, given the length of time that this post has existed, and the validity to the questions and content of answers, I may be able to provide some personal feedback.
I have never had a relationship where my partner was not only intimidated by my personality, but also where the conflict of personality was the catalyst for ending the relationship, except for one, where the other party was an INTJ, in which we were essentially a power couple but too competitive within the constraints of our individual rather than collective visions.
In hindsight, my string of relationships was as such:
ENFP, ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ, INFP, INFP, ENFJ, ISFP, ISTP, ISFJ.
What failed me in romantic partner relationships has imbued my success in career fields. My driving dedication and non-stop work and solution mentality, ability to be objective at all times (especially under duress or changeable circumstances), adaptability, and vision were welcome in the work force. I just wish these strengths were valued as much in a personal romantic relationship.
I agree that gender roles, particularly in westernized culture, condone a particular mindset as to what a woman with INTJ type of characteristics is meant for. Media especially typifies this type of woman as being cold, heartless, cunning, and cruel 'bitch', whereas the typical girl next door with the bubbly smile, extroversion of a cheerleader, sympathetically flowing vocabulary, and emotions to make Cary Grant cry like a baby is relished with enthusiasm. Which thus feeds into the social stigma, making it that much more of a challenge for those of us INTJ females.
I'd also like to point out the same is conversely true for INFJ males. I have a brother who is an INFJ, and also scored very strongly on the MBTI (no 50/50 scoring here). Over the years I have watched experience repeatedly a similar challenge to the gender and social role typing. He is a microbiologist and can appear to be very analytical because of the strong NJ combination. However, he is acutely aware of the person-person dynamics and when conflict arises it can be debilitating to him. Society seems to ignore these perceived outliers that do not allow male INFJ's and female INTJ's the flexibility to express themselves without ridicule or misunderstanding.
I'd love to see some media express a positive, healthy INTJ female as also being a nurturing mother, caring wife, and politically powerful CEO of a company. Let that sink in. How often do we see the role of a female CEO of a company with all of those characteristics?
Just because female INTJ's may come across with a particular emotional or intellectual stance, does not mean that we are smarter or less sensitive than others. It just means that there are less of us that experience stimuli in the same way as that of the majority, and as such, those that are in the majority will try to use their quantifiers to define how they perceive the INTJ female. Can you imagine a male ESFP trying to define a female INTJ? Or perhaps an ISTJ trying to define an INFP male?
At the end of the day, perspectives of the majority will be the perspectives trying to set the definitions for those that are in the minority. Because there are very few INTJ females (and INFJ males), how we are perceived through an MBTI, or whatever named personality test, will be interpreted by those that have written the rules for interpretation. My question is...what personality type wrote those rules? Unless they were an INTJ, I am inclined to doubt the observations were objective enough to truly and realistically be able to approach the data without a society bias that would be exemplified.
For those INTJ parents with INTJ children, THANK YOU FOR EXISTING! :)