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  • Topic: Intelligence vs attractiveness

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    • July 30, 2012 6:20:08 PM PDT
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Be honest, would you rather date someone who looked average but was really intelligent, or someone of average intelligence but was beautiful?

    • July 31, 2012 6:56:39 PM PDT
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      If you date an ISTP, you have both :)

    • September 11, 2012 11:39:40 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I'd rather have smarts than eye candy...

    • September 11, 2012 5:58:47 PM PDT
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Someone who is really really hot. My intelligence can make up for both. *slam dunk

    • September 18, 2012 4:16:31 PM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I prefer a nice looking woman. I also like to teach things to her, and have that as part of the light she admires in me. I dated a foreign girl once, with a significant language barrier. She was very smart, and looked stunning... due to that language barrier though, I had to teach her much about English language and American culture. I loved it, and it seemed easy and natural for me! Though there may be plenty of topics I am oblivious to, I do not like to feel stupid in front of a woman. It is unbearable.

    • December 31, 2013 2:13:45 PM PST
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I think that both are important but overpowering evolutionary biology drives my sexual-social instincts. So, while passing on 'smart' genes to my offspring makes logical sense and something that I'd definitely want from a mate, like any other red blooded male out there, looks and not intelligence are always the final deciding factor - because the motivation hardwired into men's genes is to mate with attractive women so that their offspring may look more attractive and thus, in turn beget more progeny. It's weird how this works but supposedly, while good looks make women more likely to sleep with a man, a man who is more likely to come across as a 'provider' is the one that women are hardwired to want to marry. That's because that kind of man is more likely to 'provide' for her and her children when resources are scarce. I think that the logical choice is to seek a balance of both intelligence and good looks based on personal preferences, because we don't live in the jungle anymore and are fortunate to not have to choose one over the other!

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at December 28, 2017 10:14:49 PM PST
    • January 1, 2014 11:27:20 AM PST
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I agree with Rassilon, a balance should be sought for. Being a girl with higher intellect, I want my desires to be where my logic is, and I would love to say intellect over attractiveness. But experientially, this doesnt always work, and in my in my inner core, this has always been a struggle. I have concluded for myself, that they have to have both, no exceptions.

      If I could only choose one for some pervasive reason, logic would definitely override, and intellect would come first. Intellect for me would/could make one more attractive, while the one who is very attractive, can easily become less attractive and even despised with stupidity, or even just in the case where I am smarter. I would inevitably view them as weak and it would pervade my mind until I no longer viewed them as attractive, but loathsome. The one who has a higher intellect and who is smarter than me, can definitely earn my respect and admiration which would with time lead to adoration.

    • January 8, 2014 10:23:09 PM PST
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I am in lust with a guy who is by all accounts average or somewhat handsome. He is not unattractive. But the man is BRILLIANT. And more to the point, his personality (confidence, sense of humor, demeanor) make him sexually irresistible to me.

    • February 27, 2014 6:30:23 PM PST
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      ENTJ's are awesome. I find they are much like a pet snake. Always looking at you like they are one day going to be big enough to eat you but just not yet. J/K They let you live as long as you prove yourself worthy. Lucky for ENTP's we never run out of ideas to help aid them in their campaign for conquest ....oh yeah and we are usually pretty damn good looking.

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at February 27, 2014 6:31:09 PM PST
    • March 25, 2014 5:01:32 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      If you have a muffin top and can talk general astrophysics, its all good with me.

    • May 27, 2014 8:46:27 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I choose the Avg. Intelligence w/ looks. Have dated some of those genius types (one happened to be good looking too) and hard to tell where the line is between genius and crazy..lol. Plus, what's a romantic relationship if there's no physical chemistry--boring.

    • July 29, 2014 3:56:14 PM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      The question is a hard one to answer. One can date anyone, but to be dating with someone suggests that there is a romantic interest involved. A romantic interest only surface if there is a physical chemistry going. Physical chemistry in turn is often the result of different triggers, most of which we are not even aware of, but alas they direct our behavior with an efficiency that has been honed through millions upon millions of years through natural selection to give the future offspring an edge.
      Of course one can create ones own principles and values, for instance that intellect is an important quality in a partner, and try to act upon that. However, the triggers for ones physical chemistry can too easily sucker punch us without us knowing it, creating a bias and post hoc rationalizations that ones date is actually smart and intelligent. Consequently this would in turn please ones principles and values even though the date, under other circumstances, would not pass ones principles and values of intellect being an important quality in a partner.

      However if one values intellect in a partner and the date is just so far away from having any kind of resemblance to an intellectual conversation then I'd say that would put a huge dent in the chemistry. But as long as the qualities one value in a partner are within an, somewhat, acceptable range, and the date carries the correct physical triggers for you, then the probability of being sucker punched increases :)

      The scenarios that I have drawn up here represents dating a good looking person with an average intelligence. However with that being said, I am quite sure that preferences, values and principles of how a person ought to be, can, if fulfilled by someone, bring the butterflies too. For instance average looking, but so charming with his or her intellect that that one just keep on dating that person.

      I would rather date someone who is average looking but intelligent, but yeah.... :)

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    • August 6, 2014 9:14:53 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201012/beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent

    • August 17, 2014 7:01:44 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Personally, I would rather date someone that is average looking but intelligent. While it might seem strange, I'm rarely attracted to a man prior to having spoken to him. Typically if I find his looks decent, and he can carry on a decent conversation, I find myself much more attracted to him. While I think it's important to have that physical chemistry, a lot of times that comes later for me.

    • June 9, 2015 11:09:40 PM PDT
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Sadly, physical "beauty" often fades over time. Intelligence, on the other hand, can grow over time. Build your relationship on mental stimulation and you can be stimulated for a long time. But its important to acknowledge--and enjoy--the physical chemistry that exists between two people. Fortunately, I have not found the two concepts to be mutually exclusive. :-) If you're an NT and you're being true to who you are, I think you'll try to find a good balance in the "intelligence vs. attractiveness" consideration.

    • June 28, 2015 9:25:49 AM PDT
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      I'd prefer average intelligence with good looks.
      I don't really care for intellectual conversations, they can be exhausting. I'd rather date someone I can be silly with.

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at July 17, 2015 4:59:37 AM PDT
    • September 28, 2015 1:18:29 PM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      This question is interesting, because it made me think about what I find 'attractive'. In older men I find intelligence more attractive. In younger men I find looks more attractive. I don't know what it is but above a certain age if a guy isn't smart I won't find him attractive no matter what he looks like.

      This post was edited by Cyanara at September 29, 2015 12:04:49 PM PDT
    • December 6, 2016 10:33:30 AM PST
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      As an ENTJ both intelligence and physical appareance are equally important but if I got to choose, just between those 2 attributes, I would go for a beautiful man. Sure, find a partner that is intellectually challenging would be a dream come true but I'm a VERY visual creature, I'll rather have the looks and as usual, I'm the one teaching the lessons.

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at December 6, 2016 10:35:27 AM PST
    • February 4, 2017 9:18:40 PM PST
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Males of our species are hard wired to appreciate whatever female forms are individually attractive to them. That said, most NTs are also sapiophiles by nature. Though I have heard that ENTJ males like to have trophy wives, that wouldn't be me. And yes, I greatly prefer dating smart girls!! Any out here on the West Coast who'd like to meet an intelligent man? PM me.

      This post was edited by Techie1 at December 28, 2017 10:19:07 PM PST
    • May 21, 2017 9:11:43 AM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Spoken like a true ENTJ. I'm right there with you on that animal attraction.

    • May 22, 2017 1:14:40 PM PDT
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      People with high IQs (130+) tend to be some of the most compassionate and loving people I've known.
      The divorce rate among two people with this IQ level is 9%, http://apps.eui.eu/Personal/Dronkers/English/echtscheidingintelleng.pdf
      much, much lower than the general population. If you have enough oxytocin in your brain, you tend to be attracted to whoever you're in relationship with anyway...

      That said, smart guy who doesn't also value my intelligence does not work.

    • December 28, 2017 10:18:23 PM PST
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      Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Almondmilk said:
      People with high IQs (130+) tend to be some of the most compassionate and loving people I've known. The divorce rate among two people with this IQ level is 9%, http://apps.eui.eu/Personal/Dronkers/English/echtscheidingintelleng.pdf much, much lower than the general population. If you have enough oxytocin in your brain, you tend to be attracted to whoever you're in relationship with anyway... That said, smart guy who doesn't also value my intelligence does not work.

      I didn't realize 130 was considered high.....

    • February 4, 2018 3:39:02 PM PST
    • Intelligence vs attractiveness

      Intelligence is so sexy, an average person would look like the hottest person in the room to me if I knew he was the sharpest.

      I don't know if this is an NT thing, but I tend to gaze right past the face and into the brain/character, to the point where a person starts to look like who they are instead of what they have going on the outside.

      ( Not too hard though. I mean, I notice a good looking person. ;3 )

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