Hello fellow Sexual-Secure members, (still sounds weird to me to address this way)

For romantic relationships, what would you say are important elements that have to be present or have to be within reach?

I will provide some of my own first.
I think it is easiest to just sum it up:

- The relationship has potential to last for the long-term, i'm not looking for a short-term fix-up.
- Your lover is trustworthy, honest, loyal and a fighter for the relationship.
- Your lover ideally shares most of your values and perspectives.
- You both make sure to always talk about feelings, ideas, frustrations, problems. Communication is very important.
- You are both able to spend and share time together and specifically on each other, but also able to have your own activities, hobbies, friends, etc.
- You both make sure that you work on your own personal growth, this can in many forms of course.
- You both make sure that you work on the relationship, as it is possibly changing as well through the months, years.
- You support each other and make sure to pay attention to each other wishes and possible life goals.
- Important life events or changes are made together. Stability and security in family, friends, household, career, health and possibly religion is important.
- You both make sure not to forget to reassure each other with words and acts of affection and love through time. The relationship is not supposed to become a routine or something for granted.

This is what I can come up with so far. Maybe you agree or disagree on some items, or have things to add. Let me hear your ideals! :)

This post was edited by nicoloco at April 16, 2018 10:59:07 AM PDT

Stay away from S's and J's they'll eat you up and spit you out.

Brianna said:
Stay away from S's and J's they'll eat you up and spit you out.

plausibly.:) Hmm, seems like you hold ''valuable'' experiences(?)

I agree with the S & J types tendency to rip up our type, from my personal experience. They just tend to be so decisively blunt in their way of thinking.
As far as relationships, pretty much just honest communication. Recognizing when to compromise and when to admit that it's not working.

I got ripped apart by an S before. But since I'm a J, I'll be honest. I hate being blunt. It's really difficult to sugar coat anything. Being a T and a J, I've thought how I've wanted to say things but I never seem to say the right things. I have your emotions at heart but I can never say the right words.

This post was edited by AdventureJ at May 9, 2020 8:34:25 PM PDT

Completely agree with Brianna. I've been ripped apart by several SJs and I'm INTP and it hurt like hell and still hurts like hell. So I can only imagine what it would feel like for an INFP. I still have a good friend who's SJ but she's SFJ which seems to be the 'softest' of the SJ types. Actually looking at her functions I can see why we get along, because we have the same four top functions just in a different order.

I'm secure-sexual so I don't really have anything to contribute to the original post. But this is useful info. Thanks!

I agree with most of the items in the OP... however I would add another one:

- Actually having a similar passion/romantic/sexual style.

Typically the things that sink relationships usually have to do with: finances, values, communication, sex, and mental stability...

https://youtu.be/3BE-0NTdL8M

https://youtu.be/locBtYh90-0

I am a secure sexual. In my case, the SPs were really difficult. Mnadmin, the points you made hit the nail on the head.
For me, ones effort and intentions are very important. For example, if one says something that seems robotic or cold-hearted, I always try to think where one is coming from.

This post was edited by AngieErickson01 at May 9, 2020 8:19:17 PM PDT