Forums Personality Romantics ENFP - Inspirer
  • Topic: do you guys find it hard to say no?

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    • February 9, 2016 8:42:37 AM PST
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      do you guys find it hard to say no?

      Despite having a fiercely independent "you can go fuck yourself" disposition I find that badass disposition that im proud of gets shadowed by my desire to people please, keep the peace, and my geninuine comfort with going with the flow. However i find that i say "yes" so often that i end up getting walked all over and not getting my needs met while also feeling untrue to my "strong" assertive principled self. Do you guys have this issue too? How do you stop getting walked all over?

    • February 9, 2016 11:26:26 AM PST
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      do you guys find it hard to say no?

      Fuck yeah if I know what you mean. I'll leave space for another ENFP to hopefully share some wisdom. Because I got the knowledge about this that you probably also do. But wisdom is applied knowledge. And yes this is excruciating sometimes. Sometimes you just feel like something else actually but end up going with the flow and losing energy one drop at a time and then you feel like you're lying to yourself and hence everyone else and it's annoying.

    • February 9, 2016 12:29:56 PM PST
    • do you guys find it hard to say no?

      I think almost every ENFP can relate to this.

      I've just recently started to use my words to my advantage. It's a very hard thing to do. I often have to make lists and present them to the person I'm communicating to. During confrontation I usually experience the standard feelings that go along with opposing someone else. Adrenaline, shaking limbs, broken voice. It's a hard thing to move through.

      It is possible to confront someone in a non-threatening way. Although it can be incredibly difficult, as there is such a small target in conversation to oppose someone's actions in a friendly way. Especially if you're involved with the situation firsthand.

      In order to prevent myself from getting trampled, I speak in clear facts and actions. Bringing attention to someone else's actions can have great effect, as long as you do it in a strong but neutral way. I also find that non-verbal communication and eye contact are strong factors in opposition, seeing as they communicate many different things on many different levels. Non-verbal communication can also do a lot of your opposing for you.

      I can confirm, female eye contact is a very strong tactic.

      I'm sure you understand exactly what I'm talking about if you're an ENFP. It's all about using your intuition to navigate the situation while remaining neutral. If you're calm and friendly, you won't give anything for anyone to grab onto. They have nothing to use against you.

      Use your aptitudes in these situations. Do not neglect confidence or non-verbal language.

      Thanks for reading! Thanks for the topic.
      Will.

    • August 18, 2016 8:54:02 PM PDT
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      do you guys find it hard to say no?

      I find I have to tell people to give me some time to think about it. I usually need a little for my emotions to simmer down before committing to something or even saying no. If i accidentally say yes to commit to something and get that anxious feeling knowing i am just caving in, it is hard, but i will go back up to them and say actually I am not going to do this and can usually give a reason. Also find when I am not eating well or getting good sleep the emotion is more overwhelming and it takes longer for me to know what I really feel about the situation

    • August 18, 2016 8:54:05 PM PDT
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      do you guys find it hard to say no?

      Duplicate

      This post was edited by CompassionNate at August 18, 2016 8:55:41 PM PDT

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