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  • Topic: why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

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    • April 11, 2016 1:45:11 PM PDT
    • why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      What makes you believe ENFPs lack depth?

      A lot of people can come across as superficial as a defense mechanism (and I suppose that would be a more common phenomenon to ENFP's to avoid pain when attempting connections), but like @Cyanara was saying, that would be a very individual thing, right?

      For the record, @Avemaria, you seem very genuine. We can tell you care - about everyone - and you definitely shouldn't feel personally attacked by statements like that.

    • April 23, 2016 8:07:08 AM PDT
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      why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      Idk what places you're reading but other than a rare few I've only ever felt love! Sometimes misunderstanding, but almost always love.

    • October 24, 2016 7:18:10 PM PDT
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      why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      I believe people think we're self centered because we are constantly putting ourselves in someone else's experience. I know for me to really understand what someone is feeling, I have to imagine myself going through their situation. I tend to use the, "we'll if it were me..." quite a bit. I always try to relate using my own experiences also. This type of selfishness definitely comes from a genuine place from us and completely unintentional.

      I suppose another way we can be self centered is if something goes against our value system we feel strongly about it. Though, values are different for each ENFP.

      As for lacking depth, I call bull!

    • November 14, 2017 10:41:00 PM PST
    • why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

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    • November 14, 2017 10:41:09 PM PST
    • why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

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    • November 14, 2017 10:44:50 PM PST
    • why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

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      helinlin20171116

    • September 17, 2018 12:05:58 AM PDT
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      why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      This is an old conversation, but I think that it may be because we are so verbose. We process our thoughts and feelings externally, so it seems like we are always talking. Often, we don't even know how we feel about a subject until we hear ourselves say it. Other types can't comprehend this. We also live in worlds of metaphor and analogy, and we are web thinkers. The web can lead us within less than a minute, from folding our towels- to remembering when we used that towel on a beach- to a documentary we saw about whales- to the use of humpback whale songs in Incubus' music- to pondering succubi- to wanting to go have sex. It's noisy in here, and we lose a lot of people along the way. But it is all so very interesting to us!! And we want to talk about it ALL! It actually is very deep, but it might seem ADD-like to linear thinkers who have difficulty keeping up with our fast pace, as we are still processing thoughts and feelings about these things every step of the way. That makes us seem self-centered and lacking depth. And that judgment hurts us deeply because we are among the two most empathic types.

    • September 17, 2018 8:50:49 AM PDT
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      why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      @Dallas, I think you've got it right. I recognize that Ne/Si pattern in ENFP friends and also in myself.

      (Clarification: What @DallasENFP describes as “web thinking” is not dependent on the Internet. My term for it has been “geometric thinking” or "multidimensional thinking," but I think we both use it as a contrast to linear thinking. The downside for me is that I can't stick with a story plot. I am making too many other more interesting associations along the way. This can ruin a novel, but when we try to communicate with people who learn only from stories, it can make us seem, as @Cyanara said, “like a weirdo.”)

      ENFP's Fi is not specifically empathetic, so this may cause some others who need more Fe to regard them as self-centered. I particularly liked @Cyanara's observation that “I feel like I give her my full attention and I don't get the same back.” This is a legitimate objection that I have experienced myself. It's just a mismatch.

      This post was edited by Soloread at September 17, 2018 8:53:29 AM PDT
    • September 17, 2018 12:57:29 PM PDT
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      why do you think enfps are self centered/lack depth?

      Yes @Solo! When I use the term "web thinking", I mean the same thing that you do. I am not referencing the www in any way, but more like a spider's web where otherwise unconnected nodes touch each other and can quickly spin to another seemingly disconnected thread on the other side. I really like the term "multidimensional thinking."

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