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  • Topic: 5 love languages: what is yours?

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    • February 17, 2018 11:21:22 AM PST
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      Hello everyone! Who read the wonderful Gary Chapman's book "The 5 love languages"? For those who are not familiar with these, here they are:

      Words of affirmation
      Quality time
      Receiving gifts
      Acts of service
      Physical touch

      What is your love language?

      How knowing your own primary love language (if so) has helped you in your life?

      What are the chances for compatibility of two love languages? In other words, how can we improve our relations or reach out to our partner if we display different love languages?

      Feel free to share your thoughts and experience!

    • February 17, 2018 11:26:24 AM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      I love this thread Ssak, which are you and how do you find that it fits in with being INFJ?

    • February 17, 2018 12:32:46 PM PST
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      Thanks! People of all types are welcomed to comment, btw!

      About me - well, primary love language of mine is physical touch, 2nd most apparent - quality time. Chapman says in his book that it's common for people to have more than one love language, but usually one or two are rather strong.

      Nice question of yours! I'm curious myself how primary love language may or may not relate to personality type.. What I can say for sure, is that for my ex-partner, who's INTJ, it was quite difficult to express himself in my love language. No wonder, though :)

    • February 17, 2018 12:51:20 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      My husband is INTJ as well, and yes difficulty with love language. lol Dare I say that I put up with it .

    • February 17, 2018 3:09:00 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Recent academic research indicates, actually, that couples with matched Love Languages (i.e., each gives what the other desires) differ little from couples with mis-matched Love Languages (i.e., neither gives what the other desires) in at least one important measure of relational quality. ( https://benthamopen.com/contents/pdf/TOCOMMJ/TOCOMMJ-7-1.pdf )

      This post was edited by Soloread at August 7, 2018 3:05:17 PM PDT
    • February 17, 2018 4:04:06 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      I know these are important to me:

      Words of affirmation
      Quality time
      Physical touch

      I'm not sure which is primary. In a relationship I definitely require tons of serious cuddling and just being able to share our time / life / adventures together. However, I need to be sure and convinced we are on the same page, communication is key. I go for Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.

      Interesting though is that once I had a short fling with this INTJ and she was actually very intense at the Physical thing though. Almost choked me and broke my spine I think, that was nice. I mean, if you want to soul-merge you can both do that spiritually or physically by just cuddling so hard that your bodies morph into one. Impossible you say? Try harder. :)

      I typically give people Acts of Service, seeing im an Enneagram type 2.

    • February 17, 2018 11:41:59 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      none? is that possible? They all seem foreign to me, i'd say if anything (quality time), but i don't really have anyone for that :o

    • February 18, 2018 11:47:40 AM PST
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      Hmm, interesting: INTJ who loves touching? I wish I were you nicoloco90 :)

      One more point about Receiving Gifts - I was surprised to find out that Gift of presence also counts here. To me, it sounds more to Quality time, though. Which makes defining my 2nd love language even more difficult :)

      Here's a funny test for those interested: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/whats-your-love-language.html

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at February 18, 2018 1:11:36 PM PST
    • February 18, 2018 12:25:51 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      I'm not sure if I have a love language or if I have one because I'm supposed to have one.
      You know when they say everyone fits into one of these five boxes, so you feel like you need to fit into one, but you wouldn't pick any one spontaneously.
      Took the funny test though :). Says mine is words.

    • February 18, 2018 12:34:05 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      It's a tough one because all love languages are meaningful if they "hit the spot".
      Like the right gift, or being stroked just the right way, or the kind words at the right time, or help with the thing you really needed help with, or being there just when you feel 'I wish they were here'.

    • February 18, 2018 1:26:13 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      This question is so hilarious in itself:

      ''For your friends’ wedding anniversary dinner which gift would you buy for them from an interior decoration shop?''

      How specific do you want it to get haha? That is something nobody will EVER ask. It's priceless.

      Oh ... the test says my love language is physical touch.

      This post was edited by nicoloco90 at February 18, 2018 1:30:40 PM PST
    • February 18, 2018 1:40:31 PM PST
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      Yeap, timing and the situation itself play a role in what kind of love language the person may like to receive just now. However, I found myself appreciating one particular love language's displays, just in several shades and intensity levels :) I guess here I fit in one box quite strongly.

      Haha, yes: the original test is of 30 questions or something, but I wanted to post the funny one :)

    • February 19, 2018 5:30:26 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      I feel the same all of them are so important i think all three are probably united by kindness and compassion so well developed people can do all three while others lag behind in an area that negatively impacts the others over time

    • February 19, 2018 5:34:13 PM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Gifts are really nice and essential on a modest level - gifts that show you care about someone are very heartwarming - and gifts are important on important days to the one you are with - but materialistic overblown gifts are just laughable - acts of service are interesting - i mean if you can help someone you care and love then you rarely should - but i think this is probably not as essential as others - just avoiding withholding your talents towards a loved one is a very good idea

    • March 2, 2018 6:54:20 AM PST
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Physical touch is my primary. Acts of service and quality time are secondary.

    • March 16, 2018 4:10:40 AM PDT
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      I'm downloading the audio book currently!

    • March 19, 2018 9:09:16 PM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Acts of Service, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation, in that order.

    • March 20, 2018 1:58:42 AM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Quality time is definitely mine.

    • March 20, 2018 12:33:19 PM PDT
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      UncleCarlos146 said:
      I'm downloading the audio book currently!

      @UncleCarlos146, cool - share your thoughts with us later ;)

    • March 20, 2018 12:34:47 PM PDT
    • 5 love languages: what is yours?

      Interesting that "gifts" is the rarest mentioned..

    • March 20, 2018 2:14:00 PM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      I wonder what personality that would mostly correlate with. Might have to look that up.

    • May 28, 2018 8:21:50 AM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Words of Affirmation

    • June 5, 2018 12:26:54 AM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      Physical Touch and Quality Time (high)

      Words of Affirmation (medium)

      Acts of Service and Gifts (low)

    • June 6, 2018 5:31:32 PM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      physical tough 12/12 this does not mean touch with just anyone, its an intimacy thing with those closest to me
      acts of service 11/12 being the one that does everything having someone that wants to help or make my life easier by spending time (quality time) with me doing things is just WOW! and leads to the one above in showing gratitude lol
      quality time 5/12 goes with one or the other above
      words of affirmation 3/12 for me actions speak louder than words.. heard em.. not into blowin smoke up someones backside or fluff.
      gifts 0/12... could care less about "stuff"

      in relationships this is just one of many levels of compatibility.. having met others with high words of affirmation.. since thats low on my list, it doesn't work for me, I can not be constantly patting someone on the back reassuring them they are ok or did a good job..
      same with someone that is very low in physical.. wont happy, being with someone its a crave thing and if thats not their thing .. when they walk by and dont connect/touch, its a form of rejection as that IS my language..
      its helps to understand another persons language if you really wanna communicate with them so they get it.. also helps if the top two are same language.
      one piece of the jigsaw...

    • June 22, 2018 1:08:16 PM PDT
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      5 love languages: what is yours?

      My primary language are words of affirmation. However, after my first relationship, I lost my faith in this theory, since I noticed I was choosing my love language based on what I felt was missing in my relationship. And since physical touch and quality time were never an issue, I felt I preferred acts of service, although I don't think I generally have a strong need for that ... Just my thoughts on it all. =)

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