Forums Personality Rationals INTJ - Mastermind
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    • November 1, 2012 11:52:10 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      We should make the INTJ area shine by telling jokes.



      A Texan, a Californian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant together. The waiter comes to the table and says, "Excuse me gentlemen, but due to a shortage, we will be unable to serve meat today."

      The Texan says, "I don't understand. What is a shortage?"
      The Californian says, "I don't understand. What is meat?"
      The New Yorker says, "I don't understand. What is 'Excuse Me'?

      :-)

    • November 2, 2012 9:54:42 PM PDT
    • Jokes

      lol, do you make up all your jokes?

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at November 4, 2012 9:00:46 AM PST
    • November 2, 2012 10:25:50 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      95% of telling a joke is rememering the punchline. The 5% is not being too drunk and remembering how to make up a story to go wirth it.

      Almost all jokes are regurgitated, copied or stolen.

      Abe goes to see his Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
      The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong, Abe?"
      Abe replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
      The Rabbi was very surprised by this and asks, "How can that be?"
      Abe then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
      The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out."
      A week later the Rabbi calls Abe and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
      Abe anxiously says, "Yes."
      "Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

    • February 13, 2013 10:37:57 PM PST
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      An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says "Give me a pint", the second says "Give me half a pint", the third says "Give me a quarter of a pint", at which point the barman says "You're all idiots" and pours two pints.

    • March 9, 2013 12:05:42 PM PST
    • Jokes

      That was not in joke form!

      This post was edited by Deleted Member at March 9, 2013 12:07:03 PM PST
    • May 7, 2013 3:53:49 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      Q: What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?

      A: An etymologist would know the difference

    • May 21, 2013 9:19:45 PM PDT
    • Jokes

      justplainfred said:
      Q: What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? A: An etymologist would know the difference

      Lol, that joke was so nerdy I feel like it should have been in the INTP section. :D

    • October 24, 2013 1:44:52 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "I'll have some H20 too." The 2nd scientist dies.

    • October 24, 2013 1:58:41 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      The Programmers wife tells him "Go to the store and pick up some bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

    • January 6, 2014 1:21:44 PM PST
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      Jokes

      An ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, and INTP all had a dream one night and discussed it that afternoon.

      First the INTJ says: "I had a dream that the world finally understood my vision and I was the leader of most continents, and I had a leading general conquering the rest of the lands, a leading scientist who invented all of my belongings, and a slave who I used as a towel rack and sitting stool that I tortured from time to time for taking dumps in my inventor's pillows."

      Then the ENTJ says: "That's funny, I had a dream I was shouting at fellow troops and giving them all kinds of orders in the heat of battle. I wonder if I was the leading general in your dream."

      Next the ENTP says: "That's insanity! I had a dream that some leader of a new world order had hired me to invent things for his daily living, and there was this little shithead slave that crapped in my pillow."

      Finally the INTP says: "F*** you."

    • The following users say thanks to Psefi for this useful post:
    • March 13, 2014 11:35:03 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      What does a Koala Bear say?

      "What do you mean I'm not a real bear? I have all of the KOALA-fications!"

    • The following users say thanks to Lobber for this useful post:
    • May 27, 2014 11:26:19 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      I once told this one girl ten jokes to see if I could make her laugh,

      but no pun in ten did.

    • August 15, 2014 12:14:40 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      What kind of tea does a Koala Bear drink?

      Koala Tea!

    • August 18, 2014 6:45:30 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      <blockquote><strong><a href="/profile/Lobber">Lobber</a> said:</strong><br />What kind of tea does a Koala Bear drink?

      Koala Tea!</blockquote><br />I can see why that didn't work, while you're trying to make it sound like "quality" it doesn't really fit with the joke. Too many syllables tend to go over other people's heads while they try to think about the answer, by the time they get it the humor is lost. You may want to use it with something that sounds similar that does exist and is commonly known.

      In terms of Tea jokes, a suggestion would be chamomile sounds like "camel meal" so it would be a pun about camels. Another option would be working it into camouflage and chameleon, as a stupid example: "What refreshment does a chameleon need to stay hidden? Chamomile! (camo - meal)"

      This post was edited by TimidTraveler at August 18, 2014 6:49:08 PM PDT
    • August 18, 2014 6:49:58 PM PDT
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      Jokes

      These forums really don't like quotations.

    • August 21, 2014 10:00:18 PM PDT
    • Jokes

      Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a.....wait for it....

      super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    • October 23, 2014 1:29:53 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      clever one :)

    • December 19, 2014 5:33:41 AM PST
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      Jokes

      LOL I have not heard that one. Mind if I steal it for my own horripun humor too?

    • December 19, 2014 5:34:04 AM PST
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      Jokes

      :D Heard that one before.

    • December 19, 2014 5:34:39 AM PST
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      Jokes

      language vs insects. Lots of humor only a few would get.

    • December 19, 2014 5:36:19 AM PST
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      Jokes

      I love math humor. It all adds up to laughter multiplied by listeners, divided by intelligence, exponented by silliness.

    • April 5, 2015 6:25:02 PM PDT
    • Jokes

      Got You :) lim n-> infinity 1+1/2+1/4 infinite series

    • May 16, 2015 1:04:33 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      hahahaha

    • May 16, 2015 1:06:20 AM PDT
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      Jokes

      lol I can't believe a mthematical equation was turned into a joke. 1+1/n in pints. Brilliant.

    • November 3, 2015 1:01:01 PM PST
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      Jokes

      A woman walks up to a bartender and asks for a Double Entendre, so he gives it to her.

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